15 items found
20 Feb 2009 by Peta Heskell
"Sticks and Stones may hurt my bones but words will do no harm." Balderdash! Words are infinitely more powerful than sticks and stones. You can use words to hurt or you can use them to heal Words are neurotransmitters which generate very powerful reactions and sometimes long term affect in the people at whom they are directed. And when we learn to use words with exquisite....
19 Feb 2009 by Peta Heskell
Give 100 Per Cent Attention One of the biggest challenges for most of us is to give someone 100 per cent attention. Outwardly we may appear to be listening to them, but inside we may be mind reading, jumping to conclusions, rehearsing what to say, filtering, judging or daydreaming . If not reined in, our minds will board any passing express train of thought. Our thoughts will distract us,....
19 Feb 2009 by Peta Heskell
We all have different strategies for doing things. Being aware of someone’s strategies means that you are prepared for how they might react to things and you understand why they react the way they do. It also means that you can use these strategies to communicate more harmoniously. Meanwhile, here’s some ways people have of behaving that you might notice now that you’re aware of....
16 Feb 2009 by Peta Heskell
You can’t be a great communicator without being a great people reader. Attractive communicators are super-detectives of human signals. They’re alert to every little shift. So, how open are you to what’s going on? Many of us have developed a kind of protective bubble that keeps the world out. If you live in a busy city you will know the unnerving feeling of scurrying down a quiet....
9 Feb 2009 by Peta Heskell
Attractive communicators know that when people feel comfortable, they’re much more open to suggestion. Here are a few hints on how to make people feel relaxed. Make Them Feel at Home Pick the right place to talk. You might be happy to discuss personal stuff in the coffee room, but not everyone is. If you are about to communicate sensitive information, reprimand someone or ask them personal....
8 Feb 2009 by Ali Campbell
There’s an old saying ‘be careful what you wish for… you might get it’. On a recent trip to Abu Dhabi, I had an over night stop and a big meeting in London. No big deal you might think, but the absence of clothes added a new dimension to the challenge. Ok that’s a slight exaggeration - I did have clothes, but only the ones I stood in. The problem (although I didn’t realise it at....
3 Feb 2009 by Peta Heskell
Know What You Want and Expect the Best All great communicators understand the power of focused expectation. When you keep in mind what kind of response you’re after, you will find it much easier to lead the conversation in that direction. But you have to really believe you’re going to get what you want. Angie came to see me because she wanted to get married after five years of living with....
29 Jan 2009 by Peta Heskell
Sense-Able Listening The words people use and the way they phrase what they say are useful clues to how they make sense of the world. This information can come in very useful when communicating with people as you’ll find out in the next chapter. See feel hear Some people pick up on the visual aspects Others are highly tuned to what they hear And others get more of a feel for things....
29 Jan 2009 by Peta Heskell
The Face The face is a very telling organ and it talks incessantly. We are all familiar with obvious facial movements like raised eyebrows and a downturned mouth. But what about the not so obvious ones? Skin Colour Change Skin colour can change with emotion. When someone is ‘hot around the collar’ they’re experiencing a temperature rise and increased blood flow in the neck. These changes....
29 Jan 2009 by Peta Heskell
Communication is like a game of chess – you have to be aware of the potential moves and the effect they can have not just on the moment, but on the entire game. Each move you make will influence the move the other person makes and vice versa. If you make the first move, you are showing them the way and opening the channels. The opening moves of any communication are vital. Get them right and....
29 Jan 2009 by Peta Heskell
Look around at people. They have different ways of moving around don’t they. Some of them can’t sit still they’re so wired and some of them are really chilled and laid back and some are inbetweenies. Their ways of moving range from slow and solid, to jumpy and light or fast and fiery and some of them have got that sexy hip sway of moving. This stuff is the language of our....
28 Jan 2009 by Peta Heskell
How do you rate yourself as a communicator? Are you effective, powerful and attractive or is there room for improvement? The questions below are intended to make you think about how you communicate, what you communicate and how well you appear to be understood and where some improvement is required! As you read them through, pay attention to those scenarios that seem to leap out from the page.....
28 Jan 2009 by Julia McVey
When things are going well we rarely consider the language we use to communicate. However, there are times when we need to get a message across or find clarity in a situation and there will be a barrier to understanding. This is a common problem and one that can be easily solved if we take the time to listen. This may sound a simple solution nevertheless very few of us listen effectively and....
27 Jan 2009 by Peta Heskell
Give 100 Per Cent Attention One of the biggest challenges for most of us is to give someone 100 per cent attention. Outwardly we may appear to be listening to them, but inside we may be mind reading, jumping to conclusions, rehearsing what to say, filtering, judging or daydreaming. If not reined in, our minds will board any passing express train of thought. Our thoughts will distract us, cloud....
25 Jan 2009 by Annie Ashdown
Here’s the thing, as we focus on our own happiness and inner strength’s, it is amazing to see and feel the transformation starting to take place within. The feeling of serenity and contentment along a sense of empowerment is profound. When this takes place we can be sure we won’t approach a relationship from a place of insecurity, clinginess, or a deep need to be needed, instead we will....
15 items found